In search of the Ancesteral Trail

Nothing could prepare me for the sudden wash of feelings that swept over me as I stood looking down at the small granite tombstone at my feet. There in clearly cut letters were the names of my great-great grandparents. Both Irish immigrants, she had died 114 years ago, and he 99 years ago. I wondered how long it had been since a saddened heart had stood on this spot saying a prayer over them. I had only discovered their identities earlier this year. Before that time, they were just a nebulous "unknown" on an ancestral chart I had prepared. In fact, I had been within 25 feet of this very spot less then a month before hopelessly looking at the gravestones in this section searching for them.

Months of investigation had produced solid documentation that they were in fact buried here in this cemetery. Not just them, but at least a dozen other relatives mostly children under the age of 5 were in the same plot. Armed with the section, row and lot number of their graves, I set out with two friends on the 2 hour drive to this cemetery. I did not know if there was a marker on the grave. As this was a Catholic cemetery and ironically, Ascension Thursday a church holy day, the cemetery office was closed and there were no cemetery office workers to draw me a map. After fruitlessly searching for 45 minutes on the wrong side of the cemetery, I approached a kindly maintenance man who in broken English tried his best to direct me to the correct section. The fact that he was an immigrant to our land who stopped what he was doing to help me find the resting place of my immigrant ancestors was not lost on me.

As we walked towards the area he felt they were located, we passed several large granite tombstones that were filled with just the type of information I was hoping desperately to find. The stones listed not only the names of the grave occupants but also their birth dates, the town and county names of their birthplaces in Ireland and their relationships to each other. This was the holy grail to a genealogist. All records I had seen on my earlier relations had thus far only listed the one word "Ireland" as their birth place.

Would I be that lucky and find a stone with volumes of previously unknown information? More likely I would locate one of the numerous limestone markers that appeared more like a half used bar of bath soap, their inscriptions so melted by the ravages of time and weather that they were unreadable. I made a mental note that when the time came for me to order a tombstone I would make sure I had one that didn't melt away. I had always thought that a tombstone was only useful as long as the people that knew and loved you in this life were around to see it. Yet here I was proving myself wrong. I did not know them at all and on this hot spring day I was frantically searching for them as I would a lost child. As luck would have it when we got to the plot there was no gravestone of any kind. I thanked my guide profusely and gave him a much appreciated tip for his kindness.

Was it true that this family was just so poor, that it didn't have the money for a marker? Sensing my sadness my friend suggested that they probably had wooden cross markers that rotted away after one hundred years. Somehow that thought made it easier.

As I stood on the bare stretch of grass that was supposed to be their grave I felt in my heart that this was not right, that there was indeed a stone of some kind. Was it a nudge from the ancestors, ESP, or just plain denial I didn't know but I knew I couldn't give up. We searched this area for 15 more minutes reading every stone, taking photos of the area and noting the closest gravestones so we could return. When I photographed the gravestone on the adjoining grave my heart stopped. The name on that stone had appeared at the same address in one of the early census records I had located for my relatives. Could this also be a relative? Instead of this being the end of the line, it opened up a whole new avenue of exploration.

The next day I received a call from another maintenance worker at the cemetery office. He had located the gravestone right in the section it was supposed to be and would direct me to it if I came back at a later time. I took his name and made plans to come back in a few weeks.

With renewed hope I thoroughly reviewed all of my records on this extended branch of the family and drew up an Ancestral Trail. I plotted a route that would take me to their former homes and the churches where their most important life moments had occurred. The Church where they were married in 1848, the home they lived in for most of their married life, the church where their children were baptised and sadly the churches where their funeral masses were said. In 2 weeks my brother and his wife were flying in from their home in Texas for a visit. He a historian by profession, she a historian by passion would be tickled to walk the Ancestral Trail with my husband, a reluctant historian and me.

We spent the entire day retracing their lives, walking the streets of their neighborhoods. Surprisingly, all of the homes although obviously refurbished, were still standing. Their front stoops some still the original stone were worn with a visable gully. No doubt our ancestor's shoes had contributed to that wear by the steps their shoes took up and down on their way to work, to church, or just to visit their extended family in the surrounding neighborhood of poor immigrants just like them.

We stopped and listened with our hearts to hear the long ago sounds of their children's laughter as they played in front of these simple red brick row homes, while their mother watched. We stood on those steps and took our photos feeling proud to be standing where they had stood, laughing where they laughed. Were they looking down on us and seeing this scene unfold? I felt sure they were. How different this tightly built street of row homes was from the hills of rolling green farmland they left behind in Ireland. We stopped for lunch in a small cafe and bakery located further down this same street. Founded by Italian immigrants the food was delicious as well as sentimental.

Ironically, during my search for our ancestors, I realized that my Irish family lived directly across the street from my husband's German family one hundred years ago. His Italian immigrant ancestors also lived in this huge melting pot of a neighborhood.

The last stop on the Ancestral trail was back to the cemetery to show my family the final resting place of our original family in America. When we got to the cemetery I did a quick search of the wet uneven ground of the previously searched location and again came up empty handed. I sought out the cemetery workman who had promised to take me to the gravestone he had found. He was mowing the grass on the other side of the cemetery atop a huge tractor. He told me to follow him back to the spot. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I carefully followed behind this roaring behemoth of a machine. I felt like I was following John Wayne who was leading the Calvary home for the charge.

Then with a point of his worn and tired finger we saw what we had been looking for ...their gravestone. There looking back at us were the names I had searched for. Unfortunately, there was no additional information than I already had but it was truly a beautiful sight. It gave only her name and date of death, placed their by the grieving husband who would follow her 11 years later. Lost in the moment I totally missed the obvious. There was a water line about an 2 inches from the front face of the stone that ran all around it. The earth surrounding the stone was new mud. It was obvious to my brother and husband that the stone had been lying face down for many years and was righted and reset because we were here looking for it. It was a small stone just barely large enough for their names and her date of death. placed there originally by her loving husband when she died. The fact that it was lying face down is what protected the inscription for all these many years. The edges of the stone were chipped badly, no doubt by years of lawn mowers clipping it as they went buy and maybe even from the crow bars used to upright the stone to it's original position.

When we tried to give this gentle soul a reward for helping us in our search, he refused asking only that we pray for him. My brother rightly recognized that you can't mow lawn in a graveyard for a living without realizing that the material things of this world are meaningless in the end and the only thing that matters is your soul in the hereafter. We all promised that we would indeed pray for him.

For a brief moment, my sister-in-law expressed sadness that we hadn't thought to bring roses from our garden to lay on their grave. I reassured her that if I were them I would be so happy to look down and see my great-great grandchildren triumphantly standing over my found grave that roses would pale in comparison. Besides, I'm sure it must have bothered them all these years to look down and see their tombstone laying on it's face in total anonymity. At any rate I feel like I now know these great-great grandparents. I will remember them in my prayers and will continue my search for their birthplace, the next stop on the Ancestral Trail.

Fun at Millvilles 3rd Friday Celebration

The Art Trolley was filled to capacity as it pulled away from the curb of the Ocean City Fine Arts League on Friday afternoon. The red trolley meandered along a scenic country route on its way to Millville for that towns 3rd Friday art celebration. The 45 minute ride to the final destination felt short and sweet thanks to the party atmosphere aboard the trolley. Jim Penland founder of the OCFAL was the master of ceremonies welcoming all aboard and gave a very interesting overview of the history of Millville and the specific highlights of interest for the evening. He designed and distributed a map which provided an easy walking tour of the Glasstown Arts district that even first timers could follow for an enjoyable spring evening stroll through the town.

Pat Walsh co-chair of the trolley committee assembled and distributed gift bags to each rider on the inaugural trip .Riders were delighted to receive the gift bag filled with brochures and discount coupons that were provided by merchants from Ocean City and Millville. The gift bags themselves were a work of art as they were each painted with an original work by the Arc Angels, a group of developmentally and physically challenged artists from the Arc of Atlantic County who receives art instruction at the OCFAL. Additionally, 3 lucky riders won valuable door prizes that were donated for the evenings ride.

“The purpose of this trolley program is to introduce the residents and visitors of Ocean City to the rich art community found all across South Jersey. It is both educational and fun!” said Jim Penland. “This evening Millville’s art galleries, shops and restaurants will stay open late with many of them offering free refreshments as their visitor’s browse.” said Penland. “This event is a win-win for Ocean City as well as Millville” said committee person, Joanne Bernardini. “While waiting to board the trolley, riders were able to view and appreciate the work of local Ocean City artists, as well as the current show “Summer of Love” which is on tour from Los Angeles. Many vacationers come to Ocean City to enjoy our beautiful beaches and boardwalk but this helps bring the people into the down town area as well. Riders are encouraged to return to patronize the Asbury Avenue merchants using the discount coupons. All that shopping also makes riders hungry!” said Bernardini. This fact was not lost on Kevin, owner and chief at the brand new restaurant Scullys located just next door to the League at 955 Asbury, who happily included his new menu and specials for review by the hungry riders. Business owner Martha Stanwood of the Butterfly Boutique at 811 Asbury Ave. was one of the first merchants to support the Art Trolley putting a poster in her window. “As a new business we appreciate the additional patrons this brings to the Avenue.” said Stanwood.

Listening to the happy chatter as riders swapped stories of all the wonderful things they saw and did in Millville left no doubt that the remaining 3rd Friday trips to Millville on June 15, July 20, August 17, Sept 21 will also be sellouts. People wishing to reserve a seat on the Art Trolley or merchants wishing to include their promotional materials should stop into the OCFAL at 943 Asbury Ave. or cal 814-0308. Round trip tickets are $25. A $5 discount is offered to riders booking more than one week in advance.

Poormans Copyright

Few things are more frustrating than composing an original work of any kind, whether it is poetry, photography,or music etc., only to have it copied and used by someone else for profit. It is important to note that there are copyright laws to protect you but what if you can't afford to officially register your work? What can you do to provide yourself with some evidence that you are the true author/creator? The answer is commonly known as the "Poor Man's Copyright".

It is important that you always sign and date your work and state that it is copyrighted. You must also firmly establish the date that you completed your work. You need something that will protect you against the false claim of , "I did it before you!" Something that will will offer you some measure of protection in a court of law if necessary.

The process is ridiculously simple. First make a copy of your writings, plans, music etc. Next, type a claim of copyright stating that you are the true creator/author of this piece. Date and sign this evidence. If appropriate take a photo of your creation/invention . Next place all of this in an envelope, seal it, address it to yourself and take it to the nearest post office. Request that it be sent certified mail with a receipt requested. This should cost about $5.00 for a legal size envelope with 3 sheets of paper enclosed. If you are sending a cassette or CD make sure that it is adequately padded to protect the contents from damage in the mail. This will cost a little more due to it's weight. When the envelope arrives, sign for it but DO NOT OPEN IT!! Simply file it away,with your receipt in a secure place. You now have a sealed envelope with a postmark firmly establishing the time of your claim, and a signed receipt that it was indeed sent via certified mail and received by you on a certain date.

If you have to take someone to court for stealing your work, this proof can be brought to the court room and should ONLY BE OPENED BY AN OFFICER OF THE COURT. In this way no one can claim you tampered with the contents. Repeat this entire process with each new item you create and keep them together in a file. To avoid confusion ,write the title of the piece you are trying to protect on the back of each envelope as you send it. That way you won't take the the wrong envelope to open! This offers you a small measure of protection until such time you can afford a proper copyright. A formal copyright is always your best protection, and if filed promptly you can recover the lawyers fees as well as damages from the infringer. A poor mans copyright does NOT give you that level of protection. For information on obtaining a formal copyright go to http://www.copyright.gov/registry.

People who are creative love to share their work with the world but they must protect themselves from sharing their hard earned profits!

Botox vs Growing Old Gracefully

Modern medicine has given us a giant eraser on the the top of the pencil of life. Botox injections can now wipe away the lines and wrinkles on our faces as fast as Mother Nature draws them. If a patient is willing to part with his/her hard earned cash and sit still while being stuck in the face, their wrinkles are a thing of the past. The baby boomer generation has once again declared that the rules of life and nature won't apply to them. They can out last, out work and out earn any generation in history- or so they would like to believe.

Consider what happens when the used car dealer applies a fresh coat of paint and rolls back the odometer on a car with significant wear and tear. Along comes a hopeful buyer believing this car really "was only driven by a little old lady on the weekends." The new owner is stunned when after driving 1,500 miles he needs a new transmission, master cylinder and radiator! He certainly was not prepared for that! How can this car look so great and still be falling apart?
Unfortunately the baby boomers are setting themselves up for the same kind of stunner! There is a reason we get wrinkles slowly over a period of time. It's natures way of telling us we are entering a new phase of life.

On any journey we take, there are road signs to direct us to the exit of our final destination. As we get closer, the signs get larger and contain more information. Information we need. Wrinkles are our road signs. Slow down, you can't take the exit ramp at 65 miles an hour. That speed was OK 50 miles back but not now. There are great points of interest to see, a zoo, museum or restaurant. We can speed by and miss them all or we can take a break and enjoy them and the journey a lot more. People are proud when they smack a sign on their car that proclaims they have been to the Grand Canyon, climbed Mt. Washington and eaten at the Hard Rock Cafe.

Wrinkles on our face say we've been through the greatest challenges of life and have survived! We've made the car payments, stayed up all night worrying about our jobs, our kids and parents and are still here to talk about it. Wrinkles are our diplomas display them proudly.

What do the wrinkle- free baby boomers do when confronted with a supreme life challenge ? Do they seek out the slim, fresh face of youth for advice and counsel or do they instinctively look for someone with the age, education and life experience to insure they will beat the challenge? A serious medical diagnosis sends us looking for a board certified doctor with the longest track record of successful outcomes. Does the fact that this life saving help comes from someone with wrinkles, grey hair and a paunch deter them? Absolutely not! Why then do they believe they will be less appreciated and valued for making the choice to grow old gracefully?

It seems to me it's time the boomers need a new mantra when it comes to wrinkles,
"Don't erase... embrace!"

How to Preserve Your Old 35 mm Slides

Like many people who have only discovered digital photography in the last few years, I have a ton of 35mm slides sitting in my closet. Viewing these slides are totally dependent upon having access to a working slide projector. Unfortunately, these projectors are fast becoming dinosaurs in the world of photography. Projector bulbs burn out and are impossible to find, projector mechanisms chew up the slides and with them the precious memories they contain. So what does an old photo hound who has been spoiled by the ease and clarity of the new digital photos and digital projection do to preserve and view these little treasures?

My recent research turns up three possible methods. The first is the easiest. Pay someone else an enormous amount of money to do it for you. The second involves setting up an old projection screen. The type used to watch all of those old 8 mm movies will work perfectly. Set up your digital camera on a tripod, turn off the flash and room lights, then shoot a digital photo of the the images you project onto the screen. Of course this requires a working slide projector, and screen and offers no opportunity to make any corrections to the exposure of the slides.

The third requires using a slide scanner. Since I had the wonderful fortune to have a cousin who already owned one of these little beauties and was generous enough to loan it to me, the decision was easily made. The scanner was a Minolta Dimage Scan Dual II model AF-2820U. It is extremely easy to use and comes with everything you need to digitally preserve your precious slides and memories to your computer.

A common problem with slide photography is that the film was either over exposed or under exposed. This scanner can automatically correct for both of these situations. Also, the quality of a slide image might not be it's best because of back lighting which essentially silhouettes the people in the shot. This too can be corrected with a click of the mouse. Another click corrects color balances and contrast. A life saving feature of this method is that even if the slide has a bent cardboard holder it can be successfully scanned without risking a jam of the slide in a mechanism and further destruction of the slide.

The process is simple. Load the first four slides into a specially sized holder that comes with the scanner. (The scanner also comes with additional holders for 35 mm film strips and also APS cartridges.) A quick blast of air from a can of moisture free air will blow away any loose dust particles. Insert the holder into the scanner, click the scan button and the scanner does the rest. If you have another program such as photo shop you can do more detailed corrections and cropping of the photos.

The digital scan of the slide can now be sorted and filed onto your computer hard drive or portable storage device. I chose a 50 giga byte portable storage device to save the precious storage capacity of my hard drive. The most difficult part of the whole process was controlling my impulses to perfectly correct each photo before storing it. This significantly increases the time necessary to complete the original task which was to scan the slide collection. I had to remind myself that further corrections were better left until after I had finished screening the mountain of slides on my desk. This definitely is a time consuming project and to preserve sanity, I suggest breaking it into increments of about an hour at a time if possible.

After this process is complete, I will download the finished images onto DVDs. for further ease in viewing and storage safety. I also plan to make extra copies to give as gifts to those people on my "difficult to buy for" list. Who doesn't like to see photos of their own family? I will recoup some of my time spent scanning by not having to go to store searching for that elusive gift. Priceless!

Ann Coulter went too far...a long time ago!

The morning news is all abuzz with the outrage against Ann Coulter for going too far with her recent comments to GOP activists at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, DC . Ms. Coulter stated she was at an impasse as to what to say about presidential candidate John Edwards because calling someone a "faggot" might land her in re-hab. Of course the implication is that this one word totally sums up her opinion of the man who has opted to be a candidate for the highest elected office in our country. His political stances on the main issues facing our nation were not worth addressing.

It seems totally unbelievable that her conservative peers only now have come to the conclusion, that she has gone too far with her inflammatory remarks. The rest of the world knows Ann Coulter went too far a long time ago. In her own defense she "justifies" her remarks as school yard taunts. I guess that is the polite translation of school yard bulling. Does she really believe that makes prejudicial name calling OK?

Our government has spent a significant amount of money to initiate programs in our schools to teach our children how to recognize and react to school yard bullying. The bully doesn't stop until people of conscience stand up to them and say "that is wrong and we won't tolerate you and your mean behavior anymore". Too bad those at the top of the ladder in the conservative camp don't practice what they preach until they are in the spotlight of an upcoming election and their spokeswoman is going to make them look bad to the voters.

These same conservatives have proudly smiled as Ms. Coulter has sung this anthem of hate and rudely bashed countless people and countries. They have made her their darling. It reminds me of the parents who bury their noses in a book as their spoiled, precocious child loudly annoys everyone else on the airplane. These parents rejoice in the their free thinking child only up to the point where they are removed from the plane or are denied entrance into their favorite posh restaurant because of their child's boorish behavior. It is not until this intolerable behavior affects their chances of being excluded from the company of "in crowd", that they finally wake up and administer some long over due discipline to the rude child. The GOP conservatives don't want Ann Coulter's horrible, incendiary remarks and behavior to adversely reflect on them in the upcoming election and are finally ready to give her the reaction she earned a long time ago.

Lest this be considered too harsh of a statement let me refresh your memory with just a few of the acid tongue, provocative "pearls of wisdom" that have earned her a reputation.

Sept 12, 2001 "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."

May 17, 2003- "It would be much better if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In every presidential election since 1950- except Goldwater in 1964- the Republican would have won if only men had voted."

Nov 30, 2004 Fox News- Canadians better hope the United States does not roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."

January 10, 2005-New York Observer "I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning".

June 7, 2006 "These self absorbed women (9-11 widows) seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands death so much."

This is a woman who when she does wind up being interviewed on the major networks leaves any semblance of manners at home. She constantly interrupts and talks over the host and everyone else as she spews her scorching opinions on how she thinks we as a nation should behave. Of course the blame isn't totally hers. We encourage this behavior by giving her the spotlight in the first place. If she were shut out of the evening news and newspapers she and her hateful opinions would fade back only to her where they belong.

This woman's outrageous remarks are heard around the world and singled out as sound bites to inflame the people who already hate us. The majority of Americans don't agree with her hateful, violent views and don't want to be judged by the rest of the world for her opinions. Why do we give her this opportunity? It's time to stand up and say," this is wrong and we won't tolerate you and your mean behavior anymore."

Bargain Alert- Ann Taylor

The Pier Shops in Atlantic city is a sight worth seeing if you are a serious shopper. Attached to the Caesars Atlantic City Hotel Casino 2100 Pacific Avenue, Atlantic City, NJ, The Pier is loaded with an assortment of stores for every pocketbook. There are two floors of shopping and more being added each day. In addition to a ton of the highest end stores like Tiffanys, Coach and Louis Vuitton, there are some real bargain locations. One unlikely stop for super bargains was the Ann Taylor store. Located right on the perimeter of the fantastic fountain display, one would think this high rent location for a store would not encourage a bargain stop but I was surprised!!

Last week while shopping with out of towners, I was shocked that one in the party landed a beautiful full length gown originally priced at $228 for a mere $ 39! It was first quality merchandise and definetely NOT last years style! Although there were at least a dozen other styles similarliy priced to chose from, this was exactly what she needed for an upcoming cruise with her husband! There was a rack of cashmere sweaters originally priced at $178 marked down to $29! These were most likely overstocked items but cashmere is cashmere! Imagine our surprise when one of the very friendly sales girls came over and told us that many of the pure cashmere sweaters were ringing up less than that!!

There were racks with skirts and blouses and slacks that were similarily bargain priced. Of course the very latest releases for Spring were priced in a normal Ann Taylor price range, but with the outdoor temperatures in the 20's the bargain racks were the spot to be!

If gambling is not your first love and you are looking to fill your time, head for a sure win at
Ann Taylor's at The Pier Shops at Caesars in Atlantic City, NJ!